Essence

Essence straightened four little chairs around the last table in her classroom then glanced down at a delicate watch on her slender arm and sighed. It was almost four o’clock. Another day, she thought, as her lips curled upward. She loved her job as a third grade elementary teacher and wouldn’t have it any other way, even if it meant cleaning up after twenty little people at the end of each day.
Hearing approaching footsteps, she turned and looked over at the door. Her breath halted momentarily before beginning again. A man had stepped into her room. Or was it a ghost from her past?
Tyler’s father.
Essence shook her head and raised shaky fingers to her lips. It couldn’t be! Kelly had assured her that Mark wasn’t scheduled to return to the states until the spring. Apparently, she had been wrong. He was right here. His tall imposing form filled the doorway.
“Hello, Essence.”
They exchanged polite smiles, then she swallowed while his voice, deep and sensual, sent tingles to the pit of her stomach. She had almost forgotten how powerful Mark could be. No, that wasn’t true. She hadn’t forgotten. She had simply tried her best to forget.
Her heart jolted and her pulse pounded as she prayed that her mind was playing tricks on her. Maybe too many long nights had her seeing things. However, the man watching her was not a figure of her imagination. In fact, her memory had not done him justice. The best way to describe Mark Saunders was by using three simple adjectives—tall, dark and handsome.
Too stunned to move, Essence simply stood there and stared. She found herself momentarily mute as she struggled to get words to form on her lips. It appeared that Mark still had the ability to set her soul on fire with just a single glance. His gaze was as soft as a caress, slow and seductive, as his eyes moved from her face to her shoulders, down to her breasts. She took a deep breath in an attempt to get her hormones under control. His topaz eyes were entrancing and she had to push back the need to run into his arms and rekindle a desire that lay dormant for nearly two years. Essence scowled inwardly. Her physical attraction to him was ill-timed and definitely not needed, considering the circumstances at hand.
Mark stepped into her classroom moving as steady as a soldier. His walk exuded confidence, shoulders back, stomach in, and arms by his side. He had an air of cockiness about him that people naturally gravitated towards. It was his spunk that first attracted Essence to him that sunny fall afternoon two years ago….

“You don’t look too happy to see me.”
Essence jerked her thoughts back from the past to find Mark now standing less than ten feet away.
For months she had been preparing for this moment, rehearsing what she would say, practicing a calm voice, the way she would suck her teeth and act as if it didn’t matter that he had returned. But now that the moment had finally arrived, she realized no amount of rehearsing would have prepared her for their encounter. What had happened between them wasn’t a scene from a movie, although nothing would have pleased her more than for a director to have yelled, ‘cut’ only seconds after Mark had walked out of her life. Instead, she had been left to face reality. The reality that she had been left behind, pregnant and alone.
Meeting his bold gaze, she found herself drawn to a pair of golden eyes that had zeroed in on hers. Essence took a deep breath breaking the sensation, then pressed her strawberry-painted lips together thoughtfully and replied, “You didn’t expect me to fall into your arms, did you?”
An easy smile played at the corner of Mark’s lips as he tried to end the tense moment. “I wouldn’t have been mad if you had.”
He appeared amused by his own comment. Essence, however, found nothing amusing and didn’t waste her energy on a response. Mark was still as cocky as ever. During the four weeks they had spent together, she had gotten to know him quite well and she refused to feed his inflated ego. Instead, she moved up the aisle, taking the long way so she wouldn’t have to pass, him and rounded her desk, keenly aware that Mark was watching her every move. Once behind her desk, she took a seat then slowly raised her eyes to meet his.
His was a face she could not have forgotten, even if she wanted to. Each time she looked at their son, she was reminded of his father. They both shared the same dark raven curls and sweeping black eyebrows. Tyler’s hair wasn’t quite as thick as his father’s, but she knew it was just a matter of time.
She stared across at Mark’s clean-shaven mahogany face that was carved in sharp angles and thought about Tyler’s chubby little face. Her adorable little boy would some day be just as handsome. As much as she hated to admit it, Mark looked incredible, more incredible than she had remembered. Mark’s physique was hidden beneath a bomber jacket, but she knew he had always kept in shape by running three miles every morning. Her gaze dipped from his eyes to his jacket, then lowered even further to find him wearing a pair of faded blue jeans that molded to his powerful thighs and calves.
“How have you been?” she heard him say.
Her gaze snapped to his face again. She took a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly before responding with, “I’ve been well, and yourself?”
“A lot better if I had known about my son,” Mark said simple and to the point. The way he was about everything.
Essence noticed the way his jaw twitched when he spoke as if ready to go to battle. Mark was mad, but, so was she. Her temper flared quickly. How dare he walk into her classroom, looking calm, cool and collected, then accuse her of withholding information? He didn’t have the slightest idea what she had gone through.
Before Mark had even left for Germany, she had suspected that she might have been pregnant and had intended to tell him when they went out to dinner their last night together. However, when he began their conversation with, “let’s be friends,” all hopes of a future together fizzled. Though Mark had made his feelings clear from the beginning that he wasn’t looking for a commitment, Essence had hoped that after four weeks together, he might have changed his mind. She had hoped he would have fallen in love, as she had. But he hadn’t, and, in the end, she didn’t want him to feel obligated. She decided to keep quiet until she knew for certain that she was pregnant.
She shook her head as if to clear her muddled thoughts, then glanced over at him. “I guess if you had bothered to answer my letters you might have found out sooner,” she replied, unable to keep the sharpness from her tone.
Vertical lines appeared between his eyes. “I didn’t receive any letters,” he insisted in an almost convincing voice.
Essence found it hard to draw a breath as she looked at him, wanting to believe him, but not sure if she could. She knew that if she did, she might lower her guard and start caring again.
“That sounds like a personal problem to me. Besides, it’s too late,” she added with a shrug. “I’ve already gone through nine months of pregnancy and eighteen hours of labor without you.”
Mark was the first to look away. With his fist embedded deeply in his pockets, he paced across the room. Essence watched him out of the corners of her eyes and knew first hand that her comment hurt him, but she couldn’t allow herself to care. Other than her parents and her older sister Tamara, she had been alone and scared. Mark hadn’t been there for her. In fact, Mark probably hadn’t thought about her at all since he had left. The only reason he had come to see her now was because of Tyler.
She held her breath as he moved towards her desk, where he stopped and took a seat on the edge. The air caught in her chest at the close contact. His eyes, framed by thick, coal black lashes mesmerized her. She wanted to look away but couldn’t. There was something in his questioning gaze that was hypnotic. There was already a light in his eyes that was unsettling. His scent, the closeness, both brought back the memories in a rush. With the rapid beating of her heart, Essence knew she wasn’t as calm as she wanted to appear. She just hoped Mark hadn’t noticed. Pushing the thought away, she tried to regain some measure of control over her emotions.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there, but it’s not too late,” he began in an apologetic tone. “I’m here now and ready to be a father to my son.”
Essence laughed bitterly as she rose from her chair and reached for her briefcase.
“What’s so funny?” Mark asked as he stroked his stubbled chin.
“You,” she answered, meeting his gaze and holding it. “You’re funny.” Folding her hands on her hips, she glared across at him. “How long is this new game going to last before you grow tired of your son and walk out of his life?”
Mark stiffened as if he’d been struck. He couldn’t believe Essence thought that little of him. For several long seconds they stood motionless, staring at each other as if they were strangers instead of former lovers. “I would never walk out of my son’s life.”
“How can I be sure? I haven’t seen or heard from you in two years.” Unspoken pain was alive and glowing in her eyes.
“That’s not my fault,” he retorted.
“Then whose fault is it?”
“You should have told me.”
“I tried.” She paused and exhaled audibly. “Listen,” she began. “Why don’t you go back to playing soldier. I know fatherhood was never in the plan, but don’t worry, Tyler and I are doing just fine.”
His expression turned flat and hard, the calm demeanor had long since vanished. “I might not be your ideal choice as a father for your child, but the day you decided to carry him for nine months and bring him into this crazy world, was the day you decided I was going to be a part of his life.”
Essence bit down on her lower lip and swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Ignoring him, she began stuffing the leather bag with papers she needed to grade that evening.
“I’ll get your address from Kelly, then I’ll be by this evening to see my son...and you.”
Warning spasms of alarm erupted within her. She wanted to run and escape. She couldn’t do this. Essence had believed she was ready, but in all honesty she didn’t think she’d ever be.
For two years she had been without this man and without the pain of risking her heart. She had grown content with her simple life and her responsibilities as a single parent. Now Mark was planning to destroy it all.
Her head rose, eyebrows arched in protest. “Tonight is not a good night.”
Mark rose from her desk. “Essence. I’m home for a month and during that time I plan to spend every minute I can with my son, starting tonight.”
Meeting his penetrating stare, she knew by the fire in his eyes, he meant every word. And nothing in heaven or on earth could stop him.